Love at first site fairy tales.

[palefrost]

Love at first site fairy tales.

Is the love at first sight a Disney add on or were these fairy tales like Cinderella, sleeping beauty and snow white really written to encourage this belief that you could fall in love at first sight? I think its a horrible message to send to young girls. What about common interests and general compatibility? I think it sets up young woman looking for "happiness" and "love" to hit them. The whole "they lived happily ever after" ending just creates years of therapy!

 

[LyricB]

You may be right, although you may be taking the plot lines a bit too seriously, dontcha think? Although I think it depends on how it's written....

 

[Melos]

I'm pretty sure they were written that way. But... back when they were actually written, I don't think marriage had much to do with love for the most part, so it was just a bonus if the girl being shipped off to the prince loved him as well.
Nor do I think that girls, when grown up to be women, still believe in fairy tales to the extent of needing therapy. At least, I hope not.

 

[Slashmire]

I don't think it's that "Horrible" of a message, depending on how you look at it; what if the message means that "yes, there is love in this world that could strike at any moment."

 

[TinyStar]

LyricB has a point.
Most marriages were arranged and marriage was more of a business than about love.
But a majority of them were just written that way. We all want to love someone afterall and wouldn't it be convient to fall in love at first sight?

 

[LyricB]

Love at first sight would be pretty darn convenenient. It would save us a lot of time and banter.

 

[palefrost]

I guess i have a hard time believing in "love on first sight" I mean i can see lust on sight but i would never confuse finding someone attractive with finding a "soul mate" without even talking about religion, children, spending habits. Yeah, im not a romantic

 

[Slashmire]

It's understandable and is the right way too; however, I think that trying to fit children, religion and habits in a fairy tale wouldn't work as much :\

 

[Starlily]

I know as a parent, I sometimes wonder about the message that is getting through when the heroine is so often a 'princess' and falls in love at first sight with the first prince she sees...

Although I think that the stories are evolving. We found a charming version of Cinderella in the children's section of the library, where Cinderella actually worked in a tailor shop, with a hardworking male friend (and of course the wicked stepsisters who didn't work) and when the shallow & boring prince finally did ask her to marry him, she turned him down after realizing that she actually loved her loyal and longstanding friend and after all their hard work they had saved up enough to leave her wicked stepsisters, and buy their own shop, and of course, live happily every after

That's the kind of fairy tale I like to be reading with my daughter... and big apologies for not knowing the author's name offhand, if I come across it, I will post...

 

[palefrost]

I know as a parent, I sometimes wonder about the message that is getting through when the heroine is so often a 'princess' and falls in love at first sight with the first prince she sees...

Although I think that the stories are evolving. We found a charming version of Cinderella in the children's section of the library, where Cinderella actually worked in a tailor shop, with a hardworking male friend (and of course the wicked stepsisters who didn't work) and when the shallow & boring prince finally did ask her to marry him, she turned him down after realizing that she actually loved her loyal and longstanding friend and after all their hard work they had saved up enough to leave her wicked stepsisters, and buy their own shop, and of course, live happily every after

That's the kind of fairy tale I like to be reading with my daughter... and big apologies for not knowing the author's name offhand, if I come across it, I will post...

That's what i was trying to say. I think it leads the little girls into the illusion that love is that simple. I haven't found it to be anyway. Some knight didnt come along and sweep me off my feet and i dont want my daughters to expect that and get disappointed because it didnt happen like the fairy tales. Look at these huge weddings they fantasize about growing up and after the wedding the marriage is over lol. I think there is a connection between certain fairy tales and this behavior.

 

[Pamil Visions]

Well, I do believe in love at first sight. And fairy tales ... are wonderful. I mean, what is it better? A fairy tale promoting love at first sight or one where you see two kids cruely killing a witch, burning her alive? Oh, yes, I know... it is nicer to see how the wolf eats little red riding hood and see the hunter cutting the wolf's stomach open to save the girl and her grandma... joy! they are both alive.

So please! Falling in love is that simple! But you're missing the point of these stories. There's nothing simple about Cinderella getting her love. She lives a miserable life, her step mother and step sisters are evil. She is purely unhappy. Love saves her soul. The prince needs to look for her, to find her... to save her, yes! And why not?

I think you should better let your girls believe in romantic love than in drogs and sex!

 

[Starlily]

I am ALL for romantic love

It is important to me to stress to my little 'princess' that she is in control of her own destiny, or at least, to recognize what is right for her life. That is, that the strength/choice for happiness or misery comes from inside of her, no one else can 'make' her happy or unhappy. I do not want her to sit around in misery and wait for someone to 'rescue' her. I don't believe anyone's soul can or needs to be 'saved' by anyone else...When she finds true love (or it finds her , I want her to already be her own strong, independent and happy woman...

I guess one thing I like about the disney version of Cinderella, is that Cinderella is not 'purely unhappy', or sitting around waiting for 'someone to save her soul' as you put it. She already seems to have a beautiful soul, able to find her own happiness, making friends with who she has available in her life, and sharing as she can with others, transcending her 'miserable situation' before she meets the prince.
IMHO